Wednesday, July 22, 2009

We Are Moving....

to Texas! Most of you already knew this, so it's not a big surprise. This past weekend I officially signed a contract for selling our home (which means that a family wants to buy it!) Praise the Lord for this incredible news! It hasn't really sunken through that we are leaving yet, although I've started tearing up already. 

A lot of things have happened since moving to Colorado, some wonderful and  joyous & some not so wonderful and awful, but through it all I have made some amazing people who will forever be a part of my life. For this, I am grateful.....I'm starting to tear up so I'm going to sign off for now. I will talk about each of these people and will post photos (beware!! :) in my next writings. 

Although I need to write about one person right now...I dreamt about him last night, for the first time in a long Charlie. Like all dreams are, this one was just weird and confusing. I'm not sure why my subconscious brought him to the surface....maybe because his birthday just passed, his date of death is next month or the fact that we are moving. Regardless of the reason, I realized how much I miss his face, his smile, his ability to still make me weak in the knees. I know that a part of me is leaving him here & the other important part is taking him with me. You would think after almost 4 years of losing a spouse I still wouldn't hurt this bad. But the pain is always with me, more present some days than others. I'm not sure what's worse: knowing that he has been gone for almost 4 years or waking up this morning thinking that he was still alive but then realizing again, that he isn't. But I am thankful to God for granting me 4 1/2 wonderful years with him, the impression of Christ that he left to me, and the unbelievable chance to love him. And I'm thankful for the memories that will always be with me....thank you, Charlie. I miss and love you!

**Thank you for listening and letting me write about him. **

Friday, July 17, 2009

Uncle JB

We had JB over for dinner last night. He is so special to us, as he was in our wedding, a terrific guy who loves the LORD AND is so awesome with kids, especially Ethan. He will make a great Dad someday. JB is available, so if you're interested let me know :) While JB was over, Ethan decided to hold onto Jeremiah's hand and take a few steps :) It's totally beginning.....I'm almost a mother of a TODDLER! 

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Many Faces of Ethan

I'm so in love with my son! I just can't describe or explain it~he is just so wonderful! He has been especially cute and nice this week AND so grown up. Ethan had become very independent and a very determined child. He just won't give up in order to get his way....oh, dear! He had become quiet the talker, and gets excited about what he is saying. His expressions are truly timeless! I totally adore this child!  Even at times when he makes me upset, he can always seem to make me laugh :) So for your enjoyment and pleasure, here are just some of his expressions that I find charming, endearing AND hilarious!

After a nap~ the hair was quite a sight!

Ethan hysterically crying because we were taking the remote control away from him. Gee, he is totally a man!

He looks so grown up to me here! 

Whatever, Mommy!

After eating carrots! BTW, puree carrots are awful to get out of clothes! Ethan even doused Jeremiah in carrots too. Needless to say, he was not happy :)

My beautiful blue eyed boy! 

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Be Still.

I ponder this statement quite a bit because as a mommy of a very active child, being still is NOT in my vocabulary. Who has time to be still these days? The world is so fast paced....we've  got to keep up with the times. There are cell phone calls to be made, emails and texts to respond to and of course, blogs to write. Not that I don't LOVE doing all of these things, it just sometimes feels like there isn't enough time in the day to enjoy it. 

I'm getting back into my daily devotional book (I've been in a rut lately), Streams in the Desert, which I totally love. It's one of those devotion books that is pretty deep but I totally get so much out of.  As soon I was "still", all the worries of this world were at my feet. I was "hearing" the voices and the responsibilities of, "You should be doing this, Mary-Anne", "Maybe you could call this person", and my favorite..."You should do more for your son and husband." By the time I was through sitting, I was even more exhausted than when I started. Oh, and I also have a Mary/Martha complex. I'm totally Martha and so desire to be Mary :) The next day, I began reading my devotion for that morning. Ethan was napping, I had TIME. I actually sat and was still. The voices were gone and for a few brief moments I felt as though I was in the presence of the Lord. I was right there with was awesome. I have felt like this before but not in a very long time. 

About a year after Charlie died, I was right there. I was content with my life, I didn't have a husband or child to be concerned about and I was at the feet of the One who totally was my Comfort and Friend through the horrific event of my life. I relied on Him. I put Him first. It was such a precious time. Oh, I long for that time again, but am so grateful for where the Lord brought me. This moment in time, being a Mommy and a Wife, the two best roles I have ever been. I know I'm in a season of busyness. I know I can slowly be where I once was, I will get there again. As for now, I will let the Lord use me as His instrument, as Ethan's Mommy, as Jeremiah's wife, as a daughter, a sister, and a friend. 

"Be Still, and Know that I am God." 
Psalm 46:10