I'm getting back into my daily devotional book (I've been in a rut lately), Streams in the Desert, which I totally love. It's one of those devotion books that is pretty deep but I totally get so much out of. As soon I was "still", all the worries of this world were at my feet. I was "hearing" the voices and the responsibilities of, "You should be doing this, Mary-Anne", "Maybe you could call this person", and my favorite..."You should do more for your son and husband." By the time I was through sitting, I was even more exhausted than when I started. Oh, and I also have a Mary/Martha complex. I'm totally Martha and so desire to be Mary :) The next day, I began reading my devotion for that morning. Ethan was napping, I had TIME. I actually sat and was still. The voices were gone and for a few brief moments I felt as though I was in the presence of the Lord. I was right there with Him...it was awesome. I have felt like this before but not in a very long time.
About a year after Charlie died, I was right there. I was content with my life, I didn't have a husband or child to be concerned about and I was at the feet of the One who totally was my Comfort and Friend through the horrific event of my life. I relied on Him. I put Him first. It was such a precious time. Oh, I long for that time again, but am so grateful for where the Lord brought me. This moment in time, being a Mommy and a Wife, the two best roles I have ever been. I know I'm in a season of busyness. I know I can slowly be where I once was, I will get there again. As for now, I will let the Lord use me as His instrument, as Ethan's Mommy, as Jeremiah's wife, as a daughter, a sister, and a friend.
"Be Still, and Know that I am God."