Thursday, July 2, 2009

Be Still.

I ponder this statement quite a bit because as a mommy of a very active child, being still is NOT in my vocabulary. Who has time to be still these days? The world is so fast paced....we've  got to keep up with the times. There are cell phone calls to be made, emails and texts to respond to and of course, blogs to write. Not that I don't LOVE doing all of these things, it just sometimes feels like there isn't enough time in the day to enjoy it. 

I'm getting back into my daily devotional book (I've been in a rut lately), Streams in the Desert, which I totally love. It's one of those devotion books that is pretty deep but I totally get so much out of.  As soon I was "still", all the worries of this world were at my feet. I was "hearing" the voices and the responsibilities of, "You should be doing this, Mary-Anne", "Maybe you could call this person", and my favorite..."You should do more for your son and husband." By the time I was through sitting, I was even more exhausted than when I started. Oh, and I also have a Mary/Martha complex. I'm totally Martha and so desire to be Mary :) The next day, I began reading my devotion for that morning. Ethan was napping, I had TIME. I actually sat and was still. The voices were gone and for a few brief moments I felt as though I was in the presence of the Lord. I was right there with was awesome. I have felt like this before but not in a very long time. 

About a year after Charlie died, I was right there. I was content with my life, I didn't have a husband or child to be concerned about and I was at the feet of the One who totally was my Comfort and Friend through the horrific event of my life. I relied on Him. I put Him first. It was such a precious time. Oh, I long for that time again, but am so grateful for where the Lord brought me. This moment in time, being a Mommy and a Wife, the two best roles I have ever been. I know I'm in a season of busyness. I know I can slowly be where I once was, I will get there again. As for now, I will let the Lord use me as His instrument, as Ethan's Mommy, as Jeremiah's wife, as a daughter, a sister, and a friend. 

"Be Still, and Know that I am God." 
Psalm 46:10

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful, Mary-Anne! Love from your Mom :)